One in Three

A few years ago, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that one out of every three black men who have sex with men are HIV positive. Since I am a physician who happens to be both black and homosexual, I belong to this risk group. For me, getting an HIV test is a yearly ritual—it's something many black men who have sex with men do because of the fear embedded in our psyches for simply being who we are.

During my latest doctor's visit, a nurse drew my blood and told me to return for my test results in a week. I left with the usual amount of anxiety that accompanies an HIV test, keenly aware of my “risk group” status. One week later, I returned to the clinic, and after I waited for what seemed to be 2 hours (although in reality it was only 30 minutes), a nurse informed me that my test results had not yet returned.

Physicians make horrible patients. We dismiss physical symptoms altogether, or we give ourselves the most serious diagnosis possible. If we urinate frequently, it's diabetes. A mole is melanoma; a persistent cough, tuberculosis. I work at an HIV clinic, so I know that HIV serum antibody tests are actually a series of 3 tests (2 enzyme-linked immunosorbent assays [ELISAs] and 1 Western blot test). If the first ELISA is negative, the result will be in the computer within 2 days. After a week, if the test results are not in, it's likely that the first ELISA result is positive and the lab is confirming the diagnosis with the second ELISA and the Western blot. Knowing this and being told my HIV test was pending after a week was not a good thing. But the nurse shrugged her shoulders and …